I've just watched:

....and it is really super duper ultra nice!! watched with mum and it was totally worth it!! the rehearsal was already such an amazement, imagine what it would be like during the world concert,ahh, such a pity he didnt manage to complete his last concerts...its a must watch movie for the people who just like music and dancing, really, the dances' dance moves were just ji classic dao~~ but was kinda sad that 'heal the world' wasnt played in the movie, and the song 'this is it' isnt being shown in the movie as well....

i like the graphics during the earth song, of a little girl wandering in a forest and enjoying nature but suddenly the forest was destroyed.....its such a 'save the world' song, which is kind of extremely impt now..haha...i like the starting of the song, but dont really like the part with those 'ahhs' and 'ohs', but i know it takes quite a lot of skill to do that perfectly barh~ the graphics for 'thriller' was so scary...although they did show the part of the people putting on the masks and how it was done, its still scary, very halloween....haha... the graphics for 'smooth criminal' so kinda funny, they use those very old films, but just add Michael Jackson in....it was very real though... :D they didnt show the 45degrees bend): haha...

i think the guitarists are extremely pro lorh...there is this female guitarist who is just amazing.. i thought its only mostly guys who play electric guitar better but seems that im wrong....haha.... oh, the drummer has huge muscles!! really!!its like those gym trainers who have abnormally huge arm muscles..LOL...

overall, Michael Jackson is really just simply a genius, this movie completely shows him as a perfectionist who wants to bring the best performance for his audience....Not only that, although his kinda considered erm...old, like 50, he's just super hyper, no wonder he's the king of pop...haiz, such a pity....LOL...

anyway, MUST GO WATCH!!! MUST! its only showing for two weeks worh~~ haha(:

bb(:

Tuesday night, at around 8.20pm, sis choked, she tried so hard to cough it out, and she eventually stopped coughing. every breath she took in, her face was distorted,her lips were just violet. she was really in pain. mum and dad tried to make her vomit, but it was no use at all. called the ambulance, it took hell long, sis, stopped breathing anymore, dad held her in his hands , and cried so, so loud.mum told me to go back to my room to study, but hearing dad's cries, i couldn't help it as well, cried my lungs out, really. keep wanting to keep my voice down, it was so,so hard. i couldn't even see the geog book in front of me, just water. paramedics came, tried to resuscitate her, but to no avail. a female paramedic said that sis's heart stopped beating le, that point, cried damn hard, that was the last thing i want to hear at that time, it just didn't make sense at all, few moments ago she was so fine, eating dinner, and now, this. dad followed the ambulance to the hospital, mum took the cab, she told me to study, again, but i really don't know how to, how to pretend nothing had happened and continue memorising happily those shit notes.

dad called at 9pm+, said that sis's heart beat returned, felt so,so,so relieved, but i was so tired from crying, slept at 10pm, i just didn't have the mood to study, no matter how hard i forced them in, slept at 10pm, or rather, lied in my bed, close my eyes, and waited time to pass....3am, mum came back, she said sis should be alright, just came back to arranged some things for us. knowing that mum's back, i could finally sleep. woke up at 5.30am, mum's gone, cried again, i really hate being alone at night, bro left sch after bathing w/o a word. tried to study again, at least something went in, i guess.

went to sch at the usual time, Wednesday le, but it seemed like im still living on tuesday night, i dont know how to describe it. had geog eoy, someone made me a little upset, but that was really enough to make to cry again, i tired my best not to think about it, but i swear i couldn't, remembering the way sis breathing so painfully, dad's loud crying, and mum running back and forth the hospital, so tired, i just couldnt hold back my tears. but im thankful that she's with me during that time, being the first person i could cry to, i guess she knows who she is barh, thank you(: lit eoy, i feel that i've did my best(:

went home alone to buy lunch, called mum, asked how sis is, and she said," she's fine." went home, ate, and aunt came, to 'choose photo'. i was thinking, sis' fine, what's wrong with her, she hadn't...... why in the world is she choosing photos for? scared i'll be rude, so just shut up. bathed, informed her i still have exams, i went to study bio... it was so hard to study, with more people coming in to my home, talking non-stop. i guessed they just came to take care of us, cause dad and mum were in the hospital looking after sis. took a nap at 4pm, woke up at 5, and i was so happy to see mum again, asked her why everyone's here, and that was when i know that, that, sis, she..... passed away at 5am+ on that wednesday morning, during the time when mum was at home for a while. i was, well, stunned. i was like the last person in the whole world to know about the truth. but by some miracle, i didnt cry, cried too much earlier in school that my eyes kinda dried out.went back to study, i just had to, right? 6pm, went down, cause sis's coffin arrived, dad, mum, bro cried, and many others, when seeing sis in there. i totally didnt dare to look straight in it, completely, i was so scared that i'll faint.just, ya, cried.

went home, it was suddenly hear 8pm, time really zoomed past, aunt brought lunch, ate and study, bio, amath. 10.30pm,mum came back again, was kinda glad as well, i guessed i've slept well that night.

thursday, woke up, studied and went to school. amath took a hell out of me that i completely have no more energy for bio, struggled extremely hard to finish the paper.eoy finished, happy of course, but not really to that extent, i have to be happy i guess, at least i dont have to forced myself anymore. went home, high-ed for a while, im so glad i didnt walk the normal route i've used to, just wanna enjoy life after eoy for a while. went home, dad came back to sleep, he hadn't slept at all, since tuesday, scary, right?

mum took lunch for me,ate, bathed and allowed time for mum to rest before going down to see sis, the photo aunt chose was so nice, it was exactly how she smiled when she was.... ya. can't really remember what happened that afternoon le, alot of people came laa, i guess i was bored, quite bored. then bro came, like so late. i guess night time was more saddening. went to look at sis again with dad and aunts, and daddy started to tell my aunts everything about sis, that how sis didnt care when i played with her hair, and watched bof with me and kept laughing cause she enjoyed the show so much as how i was, and he started telling me that i would not have a chance to scold sis again, when she was noisy, i'll probably never hear her voice again, and again, i cried, feeling extremely guilty. i really, really, should not scold her, i should have known that its something that sis could not control, she doesnt have the ability to speak, to express her feelings through words, i feel such an asshole, i should have tried to understand her, but now its too late. i think i've sob way to loudly cause everything was looking at me when i went back after mum accompanied me home to let me cool down. (:

had some kind of a ritual after that barh, and stood for i think around, i dont know, 45mins? didnt really keep track of time at that moment. chatted with cousin, lol, my eng communicative skills sux..ha(: went home at 11pm+ and slept at 12am+.

friday, woke up at 7am, didnt need to go to school, for me, i guess everyone enjoyed themselves at the post exam activity? wore white and went down, only dad there. it was the last day of the. yea, dont really wanna mention that word. chatted with bro, people came, was so tired, i dont know why, haha. dad and mum should be much tired than me ba. at around 2pm, before the priest came, everyone went to look at sis for the last time, mum was very upset, it really hurts to think back on how she was during that time, i really dont know how to comfort her, luckily my uncles were there.after the prayer by the priest, they covered the glass mirror, dad and mum was so, very much, depressed, couldnt help crying as well.it was.....but at least i saw her, and she was very beautiful, so much prettier than before, her face was white, her lips were red, it was as though she was sleeping very peacefully inside. mum said that she just continue sleeping in the hospital beofre, that was no pain, it was exactly how it looked when she was sleeping at home, and she left quietly, a very natural one....

went to church, and to the cemetry, i really couldnt bear to see her being.....we left when the last prayer ended, where sis was gently placed inside, annd i didnt dare to look what happened after. went home, relatives came and had dinner, and everything just ended, like that.

today, woke up, saw sis' picture being placed in the middle of the living room's table and felt really sad, i still couldnt fully believed that she had left, forever, it was so sudden. i dont know why i will truly get over it, but i'll try to, soon.