two more days to the release of olevel results..
i think im ready to face the truth, because it has been a long time of two months ever since olevels ended.. no use waiting longer...
however, i'm really really worried for it, suddenly all the emotions just fall on me.. lol, what im i saying.. T.T like im confused to where i should go, i want to go nj, but i know i wont be able to get in, i wanna nanyang, but mum refuses, she says its too far.. she wants me to go anderson, but i dont want, i dont know why, but just dont really have a good impression on it.. the only sch that both mum and i are happy for is pioneer... i dont know, maybe after all the choices i've laid out for myself, i'll choose pioneer in the end....
i dont even know i could get into pioneer or not, because i dont even know whether i'll pass my english, i got a huge feeling that i didnt do well for english... that's why im much more worried for the outcome..
sometimes i can even picture the two different outcomes on 10jan: the happy side of receiving the slip from the principal and saying, 'well done' or the ugly sight of receiving it from mrs poh shaking her head saying, 'see, that's what i told?' omg, im totally going insane... T.T
im not smart but i hope im not stupid as well... i just wanna an acceptable L1R5 of around.. 10? i'll jump in joy if i get 10, i'll be fully satisfied, but i wont know where i'll go, nanyang and get the unhappy look or anderson and being unhappy myself... what a conflict.. :(
i dont dislike mum, i love her, but its hard to get my ideas to her that will win her trust.. im worried i'll regret for making the wrong choices, like how i chose tri sci despite mum telling me not to and in return studying my guts out to manage all of them well..
i dont know, i really dont know... i seem cheerful on the outside, but actually im not, i just dont want them to worry about me... thats' why i have no choice but to pour everything here...
i'll do well, right? i dont want cry of sorrow on 10jan, on the other hand, i want tears of happiness to flow down..
to you who happens to be reading, thank you for your listening ear.. i hope this post will not let you have a bad impression of me, because its the only way i can find to let it all out through words...
all the best, everyone(: